Transcript
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Kwame
Hey, everyone. Welcome to today's episode of Beyond Influence. We are extremely excited, and it's been quite some time. We haven't recorded in about a month, so please excuse the jitters. So much so that my digital camera isn't working today. I broke the cable. So you are coming from the lovely, or you are seeing me from my lovely webcam right in front of you.
But it's all good. We're going to power through it. It's a lovely day and we are very excited to have two very special people with us today. And if you don't by now know who I am. My name is Kwame. Obviously. I'll pass it over to my co-host, Scott. It's been a while. Scott. What have you been up to?
Scott
You know, it's been crazy. Yeah, we got through the new year. We just closed a big transaction. Bought the company. Massively. It's been a really, really exciting start to the year. Excited to get back to the podcast, though. Yeah, it's fun, as lawyers and bankers are. It's a lot more fun to talk to people out there, you know, working with brands, building audiences, and creating content.
Kwame
You love to see it. And, you know, if we're going to get an opportunity to talk to some incredible people right after dealing with a bunch of numbers, it's a pleasure that we have these two. So welcome to today's episode of Beyond the Influence with Bobby and Jasmine. How are y'all doing today?
Bobby
Doing good. Thank you for having us, man. We've been excited that we have one and talk to you guys. So yeah, we'll be looking forward to it.
Kwame
Yeah for sure. I mean, I know it's you know, we just got over the hump of Christmas, and New Year's and now we're on to the New Year. So, you know, let's just break the ice a little bit. What are your New Year's resolutions?
Bobby
Oh, yeah. We've had a few really, haven't we? Yeah, we've had a few. Like we really wanted to focus on health. Definitely get into the gym more regularly. You know I think that's a pretty common one, isn't it?
Jasmine
Dry January. So we're really proud of that.
Bobby
Yeah. So no alcohol this January. Building a business this year that's massive for us, you know, buy a house. We got quite a few in Division One.
Kwame
Yeah. You love to hear it. Well, before, before I pass it off back to Scott. You know, I think sometimes I get ahead of myself. So we're going to take a step back for a quick second. Bobby. Jasmine, tell everybody who you are, because I mean, I know who you are, and I know a lot of the world knows who you are.
Maybe somebody who's listening is like, who is Bobby? Jasmine?
Bobby
Yes. We're from the UK and based in London. Of course. We met on Love Is Blind UK. We met on that, Got Married and here we are. Yeah.
Jasmine
That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. I mean, I guess before this whole Love is blind scenario, we were just normal people. We both applied on the show. And luckily enough, we did get married. But before this whole kind of, you know, love is blind scenario came along, you know, I was just a nice Bobby.
You know, his wife's home, cruise ships back and forth. So we were living pretty normal lives before, this whole thing happened.
Bobby
And it's not to think, like, did the year and a half ago, like, we didn't even know each other. And obviously you can relate as well. Quite a call because you've been through the same process. But to now be sitting here, you know, feeling like we've known each other forever, is kind of mad. But yeah, I mean, we're still normal people, though.
Yeah, we still know what people just remember. A bit of a crazy story.
Scott
Yeah, it's funny, I, I think, you know, we talked to a lot of folks, and it is interesting, this kind of concept of notoriety and fame and just at the core of it, though, you are a person and you have thoughts, feelings, emotions. And I think it's so interesting. We talk about this notion of people as characters.
And I think there's a good side to that in that we can relate to them, we can associate with them. We maybe don't need to bring all of who they are into this narrative. This story that we're engaging with. But then it can also be very challenging in certain circumstances when you know you have a full and rich life and then everyone paints you into this box, this characterization of who they think you are based on a very narrow window.
And so I guess expanding kind of out. How do you feel like being on social media? The show has allowed you to redefine yourself, share more of yourself with the world, and then also share your relationship. And like this awesome thing, you guys have created together. Like, how has it been? It has been freeing. Has it been more challenging?
I'm curious how that transition has gone.
Bobby
It's definitely been more freeing because as you say, you know when you go on a reality show, obviously you are sort of put into a little bit of a box because everybody that knows you is going to have a different version of who you are in their mind, you know? And then there's your version as well. And I think for us, quite a lot of our story wasn't shown.
Of course, you know, that they followed a lot of couples during the off-season. So quite a lot of our story was kind of cut out. So I think now post-show, being on socials and actually being able to sort of express ourselves, show people who we are, showing people what we're about. I think it's actually been very freeing as well.
Jasmine
I would agree. I think being on a reality TV show, we need to understand we are already made kind of like a story before the show even gets released. Obviously, before we even get into the pods, we already have specific characters that we are kind of going to portray. So, you know, from questionnaires, from interviews.
When I joined the show, I was very much tunnel vision and just finding a husband. So I didn't necessarily take that into consideration. And then obviously watching the show back, you kind of kind of come to terms with what the show would want you to put, you know, wants to portray you to be. So that was difficult to come to terms with.
But the beautiful thing about this now is that on social media, you are in control of your narratives. You can be as authentic as you want. So that's great.
Kwame
I think that is lovely to hear. And, you know, so what we try to do just about every episode is just get a bit of input from some people on our team and so on in the same vein of what the show paints us and, and kind of how it tells a story for you that you don't have all full control over.
Poppy, who was one of our graphic designers, wanted to know if the drama on the show can be a little bit intense, you know, as we all know. Yeah, it's a little. Yeah, just all of it, you know. How do you feel? Like it impacted your journey as a couple? Like, did it have any influence in terms of, like, how much I guess drama was going on in that time, or do you feel like you just ignored it?
Bobby
I think we did our best to ignore it. So, you know, like, if you want to go on a journey, you'll see there wasn't a lot of drama between us. You know, any drama that did happen was kind of other people or us being involved in other things, rather than it being between us. We tried to spend a lot of our free time sort of not filming together and sort of not really getting involved in things, you know, not really socializing too much with the other couples or not, nothing against anyone.
It was really, you know, we've got a very short space of time to get to know each other. And we want to really just focus that time on each other. And I think more than anything, it was just about I wanted to make sure that, at least from my perspective, is that I'll protect our peace because I think it's quite easy to get influenced or to get sort of pulled in say things or to get involved in things that might cause a bit of friction between you and like, maybe it makes better TV.
But for me, I was pretty sure that we were going to get married. So it was like, well, I want to make sure that I protect our peace at all costs and that I don't really get involved in something or do something that's going to, like, disrespect my wife moving forward, cause I got to live with that after the show comes out and, you know after we move forward,
Scott
You know, there's this kind of idea that the more controversial the topic, the more salacious the news, the more eyeballs are obviously on it. And I think both your journey on the show and afterward, you know, for good or bad, you're steering clear of all that controversy. And I wonder, are there moments where you go, hey, if I would have been a little bit more spicy on this, maybe I could have gotten the following in this brand dealer.
Hey, maybe we should respond to this topic going on in the world. Let's get our voice out there. And I feel like there's this trade-off constantly you have to make between I have to say things to get an audience and a little edgier is a little bit, you know, more enticing, perhaps. And like, how do you find that line between what could be the opportunity, the money, the brand deals versus like, hey, I want to I want to protect what I stand for.
I don't want to be part of the drama. Like, do you ever find yourself riding that line or like the what-ifs of, hey, maybe I could go down that rabbit hole?
Bobby
Yeah, I think it's something that you all are aware of. Maybe not at the time. So when I was actually going through the process, it wasn't really aware of that or thinking about that. But of course, after you watch it all back, you know, it's quite apparent. I think maybe some people are more aware than others, depending on what your narrative is and what you are.
I mean, sort of goal is at the end of all of this, you know, if you don't really plan on getting married and you just kind of in it for the ride on the journey and you know what's to come after it, then I think you're going to be very aware that, yeah, the more I create, the more I get involved with, probably the better it's going to be to some aspects, because sometimes it can, as we've seen, it can work against you.
People get involved in a lot of drama or a lot of controversy, and maybe they do get the following, and maybe they get talked about a lot, but it's in quite a negative way. And it's like, well, you know, do I really want to deal with that anyway? And I think it all comes down to sort of who you are, you know, what are your values at the end of the day?
For me, I value integrity, value for who I am as a person. And I think, you know, there's not really a lot that could sort of sway me from that. So, you know, I guess it's different for everybody. What about you?
Jasmine
I think I was quite naive coming into it, not even thinking about the aftermath of influencing brand deals, etc. I kind of went into it, you know, saying to myself, I'm going to be exactly who the hell I am. I'm not going to change for anyone. I'm going to say what's on my mind. And if people don't like it, people don't like it.
If people do, then that's great. So that was never really at the forefront of my mind going into the show. My main purpose and I really, at that moment in time, really wanted to find my husband, and I was a massive super fan of the show anyway. So having the opportunity to, you know, be involved in this experiment was just like this. This was the right timing.
It's like a dream come true. Obviously now that you watch it back, you can see, I mean, we've never been on TV before, so we didn't know how to navigate. Oh, let's amp up the, you know, the drama so that we can get more straight. We didn't even, like, run through our minds at the time until, you know, you kind of reflect back and.
Bobby
And I like to think that the sort of drama that Jasmine was involved with was things that obviously you don't get to see behind the scenes or things that she didn't really want to, you know. So from my perspective, having seen how all that unfolded and what led her to that point, it's kind of disappointing because I know it's something that she tried to avoid and swerve and stay away from.
So, yeah, I think you also wanted to just focus on Austin.
Jasmine
Yeah. I think being in a bubble with so Mang, you are away from your sound, from your friends, from reality. You are in a bubble. You were in coffee with, you know, the love of your life. You're with your best friends that you met two weeks ago, and it's like an overwhelming situation. You kind of sometimes act out of character.
You're like, why am I acting this way? It's because you are very overwhelmed. So very tense. Environment. There are very, you know, outside factors involved in, you know, your relationship. We have two cameras following us all day, a producer, those things can make you act out of character.
Bobby
Tequila is in the mix. Yeah.
Jasmine
So it just, you know, it just shows you being a human being. And, you know, obviously, people can take you in different, you know, different ways. That's normal, I guess.
Kwame
Yeah. It's so funny when I like listening to you, listening to both of you, it honestly feels like I'm listening to a conversation with Chelsea, you know? Right. It's so funny because when Bobby was speaking about the experience, it was very much about just being true to yourself, the integrity of the matter. And you know what you want to focus on.
And then when you talk to jazz, you know, and jazz, when you answer, it's about you went in with one goal. Your goal was to work as hard as you could, to make sure that you lived through the experience and walked out with your husband. If that's what was meant to happen. You know, I think that when it comes to the values, there's a lot that it says about a person.
And I know there was a little bit of drama in your season about somebody who definitely came in for just the, you know, TV aspect of it. And it's really funny because, like, you can look at it and tell. You can look at it and tell, right? Like as soon as, as soon as I got the example of it.
And then I saw it, this person's online interactions afterward, I was like, yeah, I just don't jive with this person, you know what I'm saying? And when it comes to both of you, like, it was very authentic. And I feel very much aligned with your experience when you're in it. If you are capable of thinking about things outside of it, then you definitely aren't there for the right reasons because there's so much tunnel vision.
There's a mass, there's a bubble, you are inside it and there's almost no way to get out of it. When you start filming, you almost forget about the cameras and you worry about what's going on in your life. And that's why sometimes you go a little bit, you know, to further extents because you are really just living your experience.
You're living in that moment and, you know, as you said, there are things that you will focus on and your values and sometimes you value bottomless tequila, and that's okay.
Jasmine
Exactly.
Kwame
You know, but ultimately, as long as you are yourself, you're going to shine through. And I think that that's what ends up being the best result for everybody. If you go in not caring about what happens after, usually good things happen to you after.
Jasmine
Yeah.
Kwame
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby
Completely.
Scott
So I'm curious, and it was when your season was airing, I kept thinking, how is this kind of Love is Blind UK? How does this crossover, where does the audience come from? Is there going to be a big UK following? I'm curious and based on what you've experienced, how much attention do you feel is coming from a US-based audience for the UK audience?
And then, you know, when you come to the States, is there a different feeling with the general population and the way that you're interacting with UK fans? And I'm always interested in like, does the UK care about reality TV in the same way? Obviously it's captured the hearts and minds of the United States and we eat up every moment of it.
But just curious, like how that dynamic works and if there's a difference in the fan base or kind of the following.
Bobby
I think we didn't know how it was really going to play out in the UK because it was the first season, so nobody really knew. It is going to be a hit, is it not? But reality TV in the UK is massive. It's like the UK, we love it just as much as you guys, you know?
So we kind of expected it to be probably going to be quite popular. But we didn't expect that it would be as popular in the US, that's for sure. Like we didn't think, you know, you guys have already got plenty of your own reality shows, so didn't really expect it to blow up over there. And I think a lot of our fan base needs from socials, we haven't actually been over to the States yet since it came out, but a lot of our fans on the socials are actually from the States there.
Jasmine
From the States, from the UK and Brazil, and funny enough, Canada. Yeah, like Brazil is, I mean, if you see they're following, they are very invested. And, you know, kind of the characters and love is from Brazil, and that kind of transferred over to us as well. We get a lot of Brazilian followers. Yeah,the US and the UK, mostly.
Bobby
I am from South Africa. Canada.
Kwame
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's really funny when I look at my audiences as well. So I was, you know, I was just in the UK not too long ago, got to hang out with Bobby, which is a really, really awesome time. But, I was actually surprised at how many times I got recognized. You know, walking through the streets, there are a lot of them because, I mean, when you think about the origins of reality TV getting really big in the UK, the first time that I saw reality because, you know, obviously my cousins and family lived there.
So I'd spent some time over there and one summer I was there, and that's when I think the first season of Love Island came out. And so I'm, you know, I get there, I'm supposed to spend a week there and just about every single day at about the same time, my cousin Daniela comes running down the stairs screaming, love island's about to come on, love.
And then everyone gathers in the same room and watches it. So the fandom definitely runs deep. And I will say it's, you know, been a bit diluted since then, right? The more reality shows come out. Yeah, less, you know, like the less focus that you have on it. But ultimately the fandom is really huge. And I think, you know, going through my follower metrics as well, my number one, you know, in terms of area is North America.
But if we go specifically to the city, it's you, it's New York first.
The second one is Nairobi.
Jasmine
Wow, wow.
Scott
Crazy.
Kwame
It's wild. So, yeah, there are pockets of areas in this world that are massive super fans. And I will say, like, Brazil is a huge one. There's. So I, when I, and one of my closest friends growing up was or in college was, Brazilian. So he taught me a kind of proverb or a song.
I got it as my first tattoo, and I put it on, put it on my stories. It's, They won't, they say. Not to mention it means letting it happen naturally. And the fans went crazy.
Yeah. So it's. Yeah, it is really wild to see what the demographics look like. But, you know, I think all in all, obviously it's been a really cool experience. You're coming out of this, you know, do you still have any ties to Netflix or love money? Are you still doing things, or would you say that you've pivoted to really just focusing on your own life?
Bobby
Yeah, on the most part, I mean, we don't have, sort of because, you know, when you first finish the show, you have sort of a few responsibilities that you have, you know, you'll go and do like the podcasts, a few interviews on radio. It's all good fun as well. Did you get to talk about your experience? But now we don't have that anymore.
We just do I think on that with Netflix, which was WWE. WWE, yeah, with Chelsea Green, wasn't it from, you know, the US, the US national champion. So we got to do that. We got to do a workout. Whether that was super fun. That was with Netflix. But it was actually through Jasmine's management.
Jasmine
So yeah. I guess, you know, ties, I have to say we do now with Netflix.
Scott
So I'm curious, kind of adjusting again to this, you know, push your life. How much do you guys feel like you've embraced the social media side? I know you both have your careers. You're starting your business. You know, you know, Bobby, for you, there's a lot in the fitness space and you know that side of it.
How have you kind of adapted the post-show, lifestyle around kind of this creator-led, kind of income stream or career path versus, okay, I'm gonna I'm going to go back to what I know where I'm going to merge. Like, how did you think through that process, and kind of where did you ultimately land?
Bobby
That was it was really difficult for me coming out because it was like, well, you know, I didn't really get to talk about, well, at least I talked about it. They just didn't show it in the show that, you know, my background was fitness. I spent like ten years as a personal trainer. And I was only very recently before the show, working in luxury shopping as a poor shopping guide.
So, I mean, my audience didn't really know me as, fitness, you know, so to make that pivot, you know, it's always worrying because you're going into a brand new area and your audience doesn't really follow you for that. But at the end of the day, I just think it's about doing what you're passionate about. And I went from hardly posting when the show came out that I've probably posted like once every few months.
So my Instagram was pretty dry until then. Obviously, when you become creative, people are saying, you know, you need to post every day, you need to get active on your story, you need to get the reels out there. So it was kind of a difficult adjustment, getting up to pace with things and getting used to filming, posting, and coming up with ideas.
And then it's just deciding whatever you're going to move into. And I just decided, well, let's do this. I've always wanted to create a coaching business, something we spoke about even in the pods. So we thought, yeah, let's just do it. And that's where I'm at at the moment. I mean, you know, it's a little bit different for you.
But that's where I'm at.
Jasmine
I feel like as women we are kind of blessed. In a sense. We are. It's very easy to go into, you know, certain niches and mine. I mean, I've always been a nurse, but I've always been, you know, passionate about makeup, beauty, lifestyle. So it was kind of an easy transition for me to go from the show to content creation in that specific niche.
It was very easy for me in terms of balancing, you know, real life and content creation. I actually had to leave my full-time job because it was getting quite overwhelming, especially towards the end of, kind of the premiere of the show. I couldn't concentrate, so I did have to leave, for a little while.
And now I just do kind of, agency shifts whenever I'm available, so at least I have that balance there between content creation and also, still working in the mental health field. But no, it was really difficult kind of coming out of the show, I think the year where we were a secret, we were living our best lives.
We were so happy. It was like the best time ever. And when the show came out, the anxiety was through the roof. No one can ever prepare you for what is to come when. Because, you know, you don't know what's going to be shown. You didn't know about the edit, you don't know how you're going to be portrayed then outside noise as well.
And this is like the first time we're experiencing this. So it was intense. I couldn't because it was tough. But then yeah, I think it gets easier once, it dies down a little bit.
Bobby
Definitely.
Kwame
I can agree with that. I think I say this so often, it's like the level of hyper-focusing that the world does. Any time something is shown, it almost feels like you could do a regular thing. There can be a clip of you walking down the street and everyone will be like, oh my goodness, look at the way he's striding, right?
Like, look at the way he's flailing his arms. There must be something wrong. Yeah, it's.
Bobby
Now I guess you're right.
Kwame
Yeah. It just gets to a point where it's too much. The anxiety becomes overwhelming. People will never understand what it feels like to be on reality TV until you are in reality TV, because that feeling is like nothing else. Once you get exposed to the world and everyone starts dissecting every little single thing that you do, you just like you're right.
I say this like, you can't eat, you can't sleep. Like I crawled into a literal ball. I remember being in our old apartment, just sitting on the ground with my back against my couch, not opening my phone like I wanted to play video games. But I couldn't focus on the video games because, like, I wanted to do something passive with my mind, but it was almost impossible.
So getting through that hump, getting through that journey, I genuinely think like there could be a business out.
Jasmine
We should have a support group.
Kwame
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Hi, I'm Kwame, I'm from, for 11.
Scott
It's so funny you bring that up because I think about it, like, day-to-day life. Because, you see, whether it's on the news or in social, all these little, all these little tiny moments that get blown up and like the last couple of weeks with, with the inauguration and all this, every little thing has been scrutinized and it's, it's insane because I think about my own life and I'm like, if I had the hyper level of detail from any kind of audience, I'm like, oh, the things that they would run with, because you go, okay, Vanka shows up in a green dress.
Oh, that's the dress from The Handmaid's Tale. She's clearly saying to everyone that she needs help. And then, like Baron stands up and literally just looks at the crowd and they're like, he's going to be the next president. Clearly, he's cut out for I mean, he's 18. He hasn't said a word. He's literally just looking at the crowd. And I'm like, what are y'all talking about?
So like, not political left or right, but it's just crazy. The run. And it's like you have the clip of George W Bush making faces and it's just all these things, just the little inklings of someone just looking sideways and it's like, oh, here's this whole narrative and it's wild. And I just think, you know, that's the good and the bad of some of the social media.
It's like, I think there's almost a power in not trying to respond to the narrative or just letting it be and moving on. Obviously, if there's something outright that happens, like you have to address and engage, but, like, PR is no joke. And I think that is one thing that as people grow, they're following or they have this instant like overnight notoriety handling really, really complicated PR situations.
It's far more complicated, I think, than people realize. Often too, because you don't tend to have the voice. And so maybe the good in the power is like society does afford you a voice. Whereas, you know, maybe the news outlets or these other creators or other people writing things about you or, you know, Kwami talks a little bit about being blown up on TikTok.
He's never going to have the gravity himself with his following to counteract all of TikTok. And it's just like you're completely, you know, outgunned in that PR battle. So it's really interesting. I'm curious about whether have there been moments where you're sitting there and like, do I engage? Do I not engage? Is there a moment where you're accidentally engaged or you're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that?
I, like, always want to coach other creators and people coming up to this experience of like, hey, I did this, learn from it at this moment, take a beat, whatever, you know, are there any moments for you that stand out?
Bobby
Yeah, especially when the show came out. I mean, you know, everybody had an opinion. And it's funny because I feel like everybody does become an expert especially, you know, people do have these big followings and fair enough. Right. You want a reality show. At the end of the day, people are going to have their opinions. That's just the nature of the beast, unfortunately.
But everybody becomes an expert. And like you say, the smallest things get blown up and they tend to take the smallest action. And, you know, like a whole story and a whole narrative. And sometimes it couldn't be further from the truth. And I just think there were little things, when the show came up, such as things that happened with Jasmine and the only Demi situation.
I got involved in that. And everybody had an opinion on that and what it meant, without knowing the backstory on it, and of course, people were talking online and saying certain things. And obviously, I think the best thing to do is sort of stay away from it, because if you read every comment, you know, you're probably going to come out of it feeling quite depressed.
But you do see things, unfortunately, that's just the way it is. And a lot of the time I sort of wanted to reach out and sometimes did reach out, you know, and have a bit of a response. But at the end of the day, what's the point of arguing with people? You know, most of the time you're not going to change their opinion anyway.
Most of the time they're going to fight back and you're just going to create more controversy. More problems are going to come out of it feeling even worse. It's a difficult one.
Jasmine
I think I'm coming out of the show. I mean, I'm a very kind of passionate, spicy character. Anyway, And it's a narrative that was not the truth, which, you know, ended up happening on the show, came out, and I wasn't able to say my piece. I mean, I was asked to be on a podcast after the show. And I was quite riled up at that moment in time, you know, people having an opinion without knowing the full context and, God, if I told you the full story, you guys would be mind-blown.
But anyway, Bobby said, you know what? Think about it. Maybe not go on the podcast. And I said, no, I'm going on that podcast and I've had so many people come up to me after the fact and said, you know what? The story makes sense, and I'm so glad you're able to speak your truth because you didn't have the opportunity to speak about that on the show.
So I guess a double-edged sword. I wouldn't be advising to like, go on a podcast and say your truth all the time because then it's kind of like, kind of makes you look a bit guilty, like you're trying to persuade people to believe, you know, kind of your side, say your piece, say it with, you know, with honesty, depth.
Just be honest and people will see that. And that said, once you've said a piece, I said, you know.
Kwame
I love that. And I think it's really important when it comes to anything that goes on with who you are, your image, your brand, the way that you're displayed to the world. Quality is always more important. The quantity, like at the end of the day, if you put out one really solid important message, it's going to hit the right audiences.
The people who need to hear it will hear it. The issue with that is if you pick up a megaphone and you consistently scream into it and you try to combat whatever message is coming towards you, it's just going to be noise and it's going to get lost, and then nobody's going to care or listen. And so it's really important to focus on the quality there.
So I'm glad that you went that route. And, you know, there are a few questions that we'd like to make sure that we touch on as we go through the conversations. And I think this sets us up for one of the perfect ones. I think as you're going through your journey all the way from Love Is Blind to this point, you know, what do you think has been, like, I would say, the most memorable or most impactful part of your journey in getting you to this point?
Bobby
You know, I think getting married, of course, that's a huge one. If that's what you mean, I think, then move in. Moving is for us. I think a big thing was going to be how do we actually navigate. It was like me giving up my own job, you know, moving to London within a couple of days after getting married and then also having to sort of navigate married life in a new city.
At the time, you know, we were in quite a small apartment, and I was like, well, can we survive this? And if we could, I think that was really going to set us up for the future, which we did, of course. And then we moved into a bigger apartment, you know, into a different area. And I just think that for us, that built the building blocks that we put in place in probably the first six months was and I think it is for any, any couples going to be like, do or die, you know, if you can get through that, I think you're setting yourself up for, for longevity.
And for us, that's probably the most important part, isn't it?
Jasmine
Yeah. I feel like at the beginning there were a lot of growing pains. I mean, I was single for a long time. I had lived by myself. I was living in my own apartment. I was okay with providing things for myself and then having someone else come into my house, you know, kind of, you know, sharing my space.
Obviously, there are dynamics together 24 hours a day. I was working 12-hour shifts, four days a week. I was exhausted, but then I saw I had to show up as a wife. And I wanted to be the best wife. And I was putting so much pressure on myself to show up. And one day he said to me, I'm not expecting anything of you, babe.
Just be yourself. Relax. And that's what I realized. You know what? Let me just kind of let it go a little bit. I think the main turning point for me is when we moved into our place together, I was like, oh, shit. You know, I've signed a contract with this man. It's more real than our actual wedding day, to be honest with you, because I'm like, we have to, you know, kind of, you know, rely on one another in terms of finances.
There's a lot of trust that, you know, bearing in mind we don't even know each other for that long. So, yeah, that was a massive kind of turning point for me, but I think it had to be done. I'm glad that we moved in together, you know, three days after the wedding day because it really did set us up in a positive way.
Bobby
And it was a challenge, wasn't it? Because, like I was saying, initially, we were saying maybe it's going to take like two months before we actually move in together because there's a lot, you know, that you have to really prepare for, especially when you move into a new city. But then it's just like, let's just do it now, you know, what are we waiting for?
And then looking back, I think that was definitely the right thing to do rather than wait. Because of that waiting period when you're not together, trying to do long distance think it can be difficult.
Kwame
Yeah. You know, so I guess, you know, putting it all together, getting to this point, getting an apartment together, like, there's a lot of big steps, you know, I feel that as well. I know we almost went to the exact same track. We moved in together three days later. And that was a lot right after the wedding.
And so going through that was there like you said, it didn't feel real until you stepped in there. And it was like it got all-consuming, you know what I mean? Was there a come to Jesus moment for both of you to just look at each other in the eyes and be like, oh my gosh, did we really do this?
Bobby
Yeah, I think so. And I think it was put in that we both put a lot of pressure on ourselves, wasn't it like external pressure like always putting pressure on myself and my husband, making sure I needed to provide? I want to make sure that we're in a position where we can move into our new place when we want to move into the new place.
So it was like pressure on myself, like, I got to make this happen and then Jasmine's pressure came in, I needed to show up. Is the best wife. You know, I need to make sure that I can get back home and still be loving and still be caring after I've worked my shifts. And then I think when we finally did it, when we finally moved, we packed up all the stuff.
You know, it took us like a full day. We loaded the van ourselves. And I think on that first day when we actually moved in and we're here it was just like it was just looking at each other like, yeah, we did it.
Jasmine
I think, you know, the pressure of, you know, someone moving to another city for you, you know, not having friends in London. He, you know, grew up in Stoke. He's spent the majority of his life in Stoke, all his family. Then he has a massive family. I felt that pressure to make him feel comfortable and a new city and obviously being you've married as well, where a lot of you know, pressure for him to not say, oh, you know, you might want to move back.
I don't mind moving to Stoke anyway, but I wanted him to be comfortable in this new environment, in this overwhelming situation that, you know, that we are now in, you know, I just wanted you to be comfortable. And I guess that's where the pressure came from. I didn't want you to feel like you didn't feel at home.
Bobby
Yeah. And I think a lot of it for me was just like you already. Enough. Everything you're doing, you know who you are right now in the way you're showing up. You are enough. Yeah. You don't need to do any more than what you're already doing. So,
Scott
It's funny, I just think about, like, the whipsaw of how fast all that transition. Like a new city, new identity, new job, new relationship, you know, new following, all of it kind of colliding at the same time. I was laughing because it feels like, you know, whether you're creating content or you're in the business world, it feels like there are those moments in life where just all of the transition collides at one moment.
And, I don't know, it's fun chaos, but it also feels completely overwhelming at the time. I think those moments are also really interesting because you have a lot of choice at that moment in defining who you are, because I think one of the coolest things is it's almost like, I'm going to botch, you know, whatever the, the UK grade system.
But going from middle school to high school, there's a bit of a redefinition like I can choose to be now, Bobby, in high school, all new friends. This is me, you know? And now I'm like, I'm Bobby and London married Bobby. And this is mine. This is who I get to be. And I think that's cool. I think there are redefinition moments.
And while they can be overwhelming, they also give you this sense that the lack of control is a control. And I think that's, that's, that's a really cool notion. And I think people don't always capture that or understand when those moments happen that they actually have control now because that whole family and that whole friend group who liked Bobby from when we were five years old, is always going to be the same Bobby.
You can choose now to present yourself how you like. And I think that's a really cool opportunity that more people should be present at the moment and choose proactively to define. I think maybe that comes to a good thing is now you're launching this business, I want to hear about that. And kind of what led you to that decision is this part of this new definition of what you want next and maybe how that all flows together?
Bobby
Yeah, I like the way you put that so nicely because I think it is very difficult, isn't it, to sort of leave behind that old identity. We see your friends and family. They can only see you as that person. So as much as you probably went through a lot of growth periods, which I feel like I have, people don't really see that growth.
And they are always going to see you as that old person that they always remembered. So it is nice to kind of just start afresh, I think. But in terms of the business, that's something that I've always planned on doing. Well, I'll say it was probably for about the last four years, I think since COVID-19 happened, it was something that I had in mind.
And then I've just kind of hopped back and forth between ships and work in a way that it's just never really coming to fruition. And then when we were, you know, speaking in the pods, I sort of mentioned the fact that I had this in mind. And, you know, we spoke about maybe doing something together in the future, but nothing ever really came about.
And then I just think it was more recent, like last year. It's something that I keep talking about. And then I'm just like, well, why don't we just do it, you know, and let's do it together. Jasmine's background in terms of mental health, my background in terms of fitness, weight loss, just really combining the two.
And of course that I think is really the mindset as well. I think, you know, helping women really empower themselves, helping them become more confident, you know, breaking old habits and breaking the old habit of sort of being themselves and sort of reinventing a new version of them as well. So I think combining the two things, we just kind of it's a no-brainer not to do it.
You know.
Scott
I love that kind of balance of the physical fitness and the mental mental health piece. And they really do go together. So like I feel like if you so many times people try to make a change and they want to create, whether it's, you know, their physical appearance, they want to feel stronger, they want to enjoy the way they look.
It's funny, there's this identity piece. And I remember there was a fitness coach and they were saying, there's a moment of disconnect in your identity going through a major transition. Because if you were to say, like, I'm Bobby the fitness guy, I'm going to really prioritize healthy eating. But let's say you're 30 pounds overweight as you're trying to craft that identity.
Everyone's like, you're a joker, you're 30 pounds overweight. Eat like a slob your whole life. That's not you. And it just reinforces, like this counter-narrative to this new person you're trying to become. So it's interesting, like the mental health perspective, like this definition of self. I just think there's a really interesting tie-in, of identity, mental health, and physical fitness because I can say, here's a macro calculator, eat your macros for meals a day.
You know, workout weight training four times a week, do a little bit of cardio. And it's like, that's a pretty known formula. So why is everyone in the world not fit and muscular and enjoying life? There's so much more complication to it. And there's kids and life and schedule. So I'm curious as you approach it, like, what is your approach to the business going to be like?
There's an online kind of fitness coaching called in-person personal training. There's like the holistic self kind of side, like, how are you guys choosing to attack it?
Bobby
Yeah. So everything we do is completely online. You know, we want to reach as many people as possible. So everything we do is online based. It's a 1 to 1. It's about really giving people because like you said, everybody knows what to do, right? I think all you have to do is go on Google, right?
And most people will know the basics, right? I'm going to move more. I'm going to eat less. But it isn't that simple, right? If it was, everyone would already be in the perfect shape. So I think it's about accountability. For one, I think a lot of people, especially starting out, need accountability. They need somebody then that's actually going to keep them on track, and make sure that they are following through.
People need support as well. I think when you're not sure about something, or maybe when you have a bit of an off day, a bit of a wobble as we call it, you know, you're going to need somebody there to sort of pick you back up, because a lot of people do sort of get to a point of maybe being overweight, you know, being out of shape.
They've obviously got very used to the way that they're living. Right. So it's very difficult to make a change. And it's difficult to make any type of change if you're used to maybe, you know, not working. If you're used to showing up drinking every day if you're whatever, you're you're you're bad habits might be it's very difficult to go from that to the complete opposite.
Right. So I think support in the beginning is really important. Everything we do is 1 to 1. We focus on sustainability because just telling somebody to go from being junk food every day, you know, snacking, not tracking their macros, never working out, never going to the gym to all of a sudden tomorrow, expecting that person to be tracking that you to be working out every day and to be living a healthy lifestyle, it's very unrealistic.
So it's about gradually implementing new habits, helping people really improve their relationship with food over time, and helping people like you say, shift their identity so that once they've actually lost the weight, they're able to sustainably keep it off because that's now who they are.
Scott
I love that too. And progress isn't perfection. I think it's so funny because I've talked to a lot of people and they're like, oh, I started counting macros and it's so, so time-consuming. It's got to be perfect. I was like, you're literally eating piles of junk food, like and like, if you miss your protein target by five grams, it's not.
You're so far on the better side of things. And so, you know, whether it's making decisions at work or making decisions with your diet like the reinforcing and recurring decisions you make, not perfection. But like if you're 80% right and you were 5% right before, the difference is going to be monumental. I think in fitness too, I don't think people appreciate how actually fairly small changes can make a really, really big difference if done even over just a few weeks.
And so I think, like, I love the way that you're approaching it, which is kind of this holistic move, not the seeking of absolute perfection, but like, how do you create these sustainable long-term behavior patterns? That's funny. Coming completely full circle to this resolution concept. And like how we start off, that is the one thing with resolutions.
It's so binary often and I really hate the notion of like just tomorrow I'm going to stop doing something. And I think one more realistic goal is that I'm going to be more present or I'm going to focus more on this particular thing, or there's an aspect of my relationship. And it's funny because I end up coaching folks a lot.
And I even talked to my daughter, who is in gymnastics, and she was really nervous about my competition. I was like, break it down. There are four events. There's like your mental preparation, your physical prep. Where do you feel, prepared? She's eight, so she's just like, I don't. I don't feel like I know my floor routine well enough.
I was like, well, every day was, let's do it two more times. And then competition comes and she's ready. And like, that's the kind of resolution. Or it's like, I'm going to pick one. One thing. It's a weakness. It's something I've been avoiding. And for a lot of people that might be their diet, it might be part of their relationship.
It might be building an audience and connecting more with folks. Or I'm going to grow more of my business through social media. And so I just think I like this notion of like, small but meaningful progress stacked on top because that is a lot more sustainable. Not to ranty all, but like I have very much, yeah.
Aligned with how y'all are approaching the business and sounds like it's going to be a great endeavor.
Jasmine
So I think our main focus as well is kind of understanding what are your whys and into reaching those goals. Because yeah, we can say, oh, I just want to be skinny and get in there and bury my clothes. But there's a deeper reason, the reason why they feel the way that they do in the present time. And they want to make these changes.
Right. And it is very difficult. Sometimes you will have clients who aren't really ready to make that transition yet, and it's just kind of working with them, giving them that patience in order to, kind of navigate through those feelings and emotions of a massive life change, which is massive, which is why, you know, we kind of have to be with them every step of the way, because there are going to be times where they relapse.
There are going to be times when they have a bit of a safeword in our coaching. If you are having a bit of a hard day, just say wobble and we'll, we'll we'll know what you mean. We always do morning check-ins, throughout the day. If they have any questions in relation to, you know, kind of food, diet, workout, any pain, you know, we're there to support them.
And I feel like if someone's making such a drastic lifestyle change, it is important to support them throughout the way. Because also, we were talking about this on our coaching call. Actually, when you're making a drastic lifestyle change and people around you, sometimes you can feel a bit, how do I say it? Alone. You don't feel like people can relate to you.
It's very easy. So why are you being Debbie Downer? You can't have a pizza with us. You know, you're at a different time in your life. And, you know, it's about telling them, you know what? It's okay not, you know, fear of missing out. No, let's remove that. That pizza is always going to be there in two weeks.
Time through time, four weeks time, you're on a different journey and that is okay.
Kwame
That is powerful. I love to hear it. I, you know, I don't think you don't think about that every single day, but it is true. I feel like when you are going through a critical change, and that's why I think sometimes it is important to change the community around you. It's not to say you ostracize or leave people behind, but it's really important that the people around you have the same goals.
And I remember, like, my life-changing drastically when I just jumped into a group of guys who thought in a certain way, I feel I felt way more motivated and way more, on track with just my mindset, because the people around me reinforced that if they go against it, you start second thinking yourself as well. So I do think that's important.
And, you know, obviously, now that you have started to forge your own path, within, you know, finding who your identity is, what your identity is and then crafting it into a business, you know, you started with what the basics of influencing were, you know, when you did. And since you have, you know, what have the brand relationships been like in the brand partnerships been like?
Bobby
I think for Jasmine it's been incredible, isn't it, since she's come out? You know, she's got to work with so many brands, different types of brands, but a lot of, dream brands as well. So I think a lot less for me. We've done some stuff together, which has been really nice. And I think as a guy coming off a show, typically, you know, it can be like that.
But for Jasmine and, you know, our joint venture has been incredible, isn't it?
Jasmine
I think I didn't realize how powerful like organic tagging was going to be. I mean, I'm working with a brand, Sol de Janeiro, and then, like, my ultimate brand, I spend hundreds of pounds on this brand, and I literally just posted a video of Bobby going into my drawer and stealing my soul, ditching her own products.
And that got traction because it's very relatable. You know, men do go into that. Girlfriends or wives or partners, cupboards and steal toiletries. That's just what guys do, you know, they dip their fingers in there and they just, you know, use it. And that was very relatable to the audience. And that got traction from the company to be like, okay, to develop a kind of a good relationship, you know, working relationship with me.
So, organic tags for sure. I think relatable content, and just being consistent. I think consistency is everything. If you want people to continue to follow you the following year, the consistency has to be the one. Another thing is engaging with your audience. You can't expect people to digest your content on a daily basis and comment and like if you're not engaging with them.
And I think each and every comment I reply to it's time-consuming but those people come back, and they do appreciate your interactions with them. And in turn, brands will see that. Yeah.
Kwame
Yeah. Well, I mean, you've worked with a few brands now and you're naming a few, which is great. I think one thing that we like to ask our guests is if you could have a dream brand out there somewhere that if they hit you up right now, you would do a backflip. What brand would that be?
What's your dream brand to work with?
Bobby
Mine would be, I'm a massive sports fan, so my mind would be like a Nike as you guys call it. I'm just a massive, massive fan, you know? Ever since I can remember, I think they made great, great footwear. So I used to play a lot of football. You know, I always had the night boots and then night trainers and sneakers, you know, and they got some.
They got some nice clothes. And also for me, that'd be, I think, my number one. What about you?
Jasmine
Mine's going to be a bit boring. And I don't know if you like the NHS, the National Health Service. I know, it's extremely boring. But on a deeper level, let's just talk about it. Right. Being an ass, obviously being on TV as well. I feel like a massive responsibility to be a voice for nurses in the UK who are underpaid, a service that we do have, which is great because it is very helpful to people all over the UK.
However it is extremely underfunded, and service users are not getting the right support because the service is underfunded. I think raising awareness of that time, you know, for the NHS, the National Health Service would be massive. For me to work with them would be great. Yeah, because I can tell you all beauty brands and all these things, but something that kind of is important to me as a person, you know.
So working as a nurse. Yeah, the National Health Service, for sure. I would love to work with you.
Scott
I love it. I think one thing that it hits me and this and it's funny because I think Jasmine, you mentioned it earlier, kind of spice your personality and it came across in the show and I think but I think maybe this is that other side of you, that that deeper side of that caring side, the professional nurse who dedicates her life and, you know, my wife came up as a nurse, was working in oncology.
And I don't think people have an appreciation for how just emotionally draining that role can be. What is whatever, whether it's cancer or, or just kind of, you know, general care. It's exhausting to absorb people's challenges and see the worst that can happen, consistently. And then to also have underfunding and lack of resourcing, putting nurses at risk, putting patients at risk.
I think it's definitely a worthy cause. So I'm a huge supporter of nurses and, and, you know, helping them out. I think some of it just shifts in what they're asked to do. And I don't know, this was a big nuance in the UK. So if I'm speaking out of line, it's just a very, very challenging position in so many ways, exhausting mentally and physically.
And I think it is an absolutely necessary profession. And it's one where you go in and.
Bobby
You know.
Scott
I don't know if people have a full appreciation of the sacrifice going in, but I think a lot of people are called and drawn to that position. And it's admirable. So, it's been amazing connecting with you all. I just love these conversations, too, because, you know, we see just such a little snippet of your life and your relationship in your story on the show.
And I love that we get to unpack kind of the deeper side of what you guys are thinking about your relationship, and your business endeavors. And I also like that you've taken this maybe nontraditional approach post show off not just needing social media, but like, we're going to create a business. I'm going to pursue a passion that I had before the show.
I'm going to leverage this audience and platform to do something and impact the lives of others. And it's something that unifies you as a relationship. And as a couple. It's a common thing you can put your energy into. So, I love that you get a chance, to show that other side of yourselves. It's really awesome.
Bobby
We appreciate it. Thank you so much. And, no, it's been a pleasure. We really enjoyed this. We'll have.
Jasmine
A chat.
Bobby
Don't really. Yeah.
Kwame
We're both glad that you love the chat because I do think we had a great chat. It's interesting. We definitely spent a lot of time on Love Is Blind. I know we wanted to talk a lot more influencer stuff, but you have such a really cool, unique story. And so it helped guide the conversation where it needed to go.
So ultimately, thank you both so much for your time. Thank you, everyone, for joining us. Do you have any last words to impart to our audience before we head out?
Bobby
Yeah. Thank you to everybody. This election, as this of course, showed us support, showed us love, tuned in, watched us. You know, we appreciate all of you.
Scott
All right. Awesome. We'll see you all in the next one.
Bobby
Thank you. Yeah, I show yeah. Thank you guys. Thanks so much. Bye bye.