Transcript
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Kwame
Hey, everybody. Welcome to today's episode of Beyond Influence. I am Kwame Youth here. I'm here with my co-host Scott, and we are joined by a very special guest today, somebody who is world-renowned, a coach, a leader, someone who is very, very well known and very well esteemed in the community, of making sure that people are getting the best out of themselves.
So we are very excited today to have Rudy Rich with us really, how are you doing today?
Rudi
I'm doing really well. Hello Scott, hello from me. Thank you so much for having me. I just don't acknowledge first and foremost your time. Thank you for spending some time with me today.
Scott
Awesome. Yeah. Likewise. We're really excited to have you on. You know, I was thinking about how do we, you know, what questions do we ask you? How do we start the conversation? A lot of times we're talking to, you know, social media influencers, kind of whether a comedian or they're on a reality show. And I think when I look at your profile and it's something that I've thought about for a while, is how do people fall into this role of like, coaching as a calling or mentorship and creating content?
And the root of my question comes from like, at what point in your life did you feel called to kind of step out and do this and also have the confidence to do it without feeling like, oh, I'm an imposter, why am I coaching other people? I'm still a flawed individual and I know we're just diving right in, but it's always something I'm like these inspirational speakers or coaches.
I'm like, there has to be that moment when they get started and they're just like, why would anyone want to listen to me?
Rudi
You know, Scott, firstly, I want to applaud you because I've done thousands and thousands of interviews and you're the first person to phrase a question the way that you just did. And I want your audience to benefit from the brilliance behind the question. You see, you asked, how did I get to who I am today or what it is that I do today?
But you had a follow-up question within the question that said, you know, how long did it take you to get to that? Because so many people just want to know what the moment was. But they don't often realize that there's a journey throughout that moment because it isn't just one single defining thing. You know, unless you release it and you walk into a bank and a guy taps you on the shoulder and says, would you like to be in my movie?
Very rarely is it that fast. And so my journey for me was 16 years old, sitting in a high school gymnasium. I was a kid that struggled with insecurities. We didn't have a lot of money. Everybody was in my class with very wealthy families, the majority of them, multi-millionaire families, and a very Orange County-esque environment.
And we just didn't have the money to be there. I was on a scholarship to be there. My grades sucked. I wasn't smart, I, I just, you know, was the loud clown in the classroom riddled with insecurity. And we were sent into this huge hole to go and listen to someone come in and speak to the school.
And this man took the stage in a blue pinstripe suit and a light blue crisp iron shirt, and he walked on stage and said, you can have and you can be, and you could do anything, man. And I sat in that room like God was touching me. I thought this is the most incredible thing about, like, this is who I'm going to be.
This is what I'm going to do. And, you know, the real value in that question is I was 16 when that happened, but right after he left the stage, after we walked out of that, that whole I went straight back to being insecure, straight back to thinking I wasn't good enough. And that fire that was lit in me never burned it.
I'm never burnt down. It never went away. It just stayed. It simmered and I knew that's who I wanted to become. But it took me 20 years before I took my very first stage, before I had my first engagement before I created any level of impact. You know, I was so insecure that I thought I needed to make money.
And so I set out to go and make money. And then I ended up making a ton of money, and I realized even though I had achieved what I thought would bring me success and joy, fulfillment and freedom, I still felt like that little insecure boy. And that was when my inner journey began. And so from around 26 years old until 36, I did a lot of internal work.
That's why I took courses. Programs. That's where I read books. That's where I sat with myself. That's where my meditation practice started. Long story short, 36 years old. I invited people to come and hear me speak for the very first time. And that's when I started to do what I was doing, and it snowballed from there. The value in your question really is how long does it take you to do what you already know?
You've come here to become and everything that you want to have to be, do, and achievable ready resides in you. My biggest mistake because I think the value in this is where did I go wrong? I thought that I needed external validation. I thought that I needed somebody to give me an accolade. I thought somebody had to invite me to speak.
I thought somebody had to give me a platform. Whereas in reality, if you know someone, if you share a home with someone if you get on a bus with someone on a plane, you work in a cubicle next to someone, hey, you have an audience and you can create an impact right where you are. And I just wish I started doing that, you know, years and years and years before I actually did that.
Kwame
That's an incredible answer. You know, it's really powerful to start the conversation this way. It means you know, we have a lot of really, really flourishing moments ahead. And I think when you think about everything that you've done so far, you know, I started the conversation with naming world-renowned. It's very rare that we have somebody who's respected in many different communities across the world who is out there actually making such an impact.
It's rare that you talk to somebody like that in any part of your day. And so now that you are here, right throughout your journey, do you have any moments, you know, like it is a journey as you said, do you have any moments where you started to doubt that this was the path that you were going to go on, even though that flame was leading you, you started doing really well.
You thought, hey, let me start getting that, deep internal work. Like, was there any moment where you thought, you know what, I might just hang this up?
Rudi
I'm going to answer this question, and I think your entire audience is going to be shocked. That's every day, man. That's every day. And I want people to understand the meaning of this, you know, 95% of every single thought that you have, every action that you take, all of your behaviors are unconsciously pre-programmed of who you used to be.
We think we are who we are right now, but in actuality, we are the remembrance of who we thought we were. Meaning how you woke up and brush your teeth when you peed, you pooped when you showered, what you ate when you did all of what you did when somebody disrespected you and how you felt and how you reacted and how you responded, and how you internalize that none of that was you in your conscious, present moment.
All of that was an unconscious reaction to who you previously were. And we don't have time to dive into that today. But let me say, everything you do today was created based on a formula of how you reacted or responded under the age of seven, and so under the age of seven, your parents said, you're not good enough and you're not worthy, and you felt insecure.
You respond to high-pressure situations today as that seven-year-old self. What we need to do is to become very present in a way and conscious of who we are and how we want to show up today so that we're not the remembrance of who we were. I was in an interview right before this one, and a gentleman asked me, you know, like the beginning of the year resolutions, who was going and doing and achieving.
And, you know, I said to him, the reality is less than 8% of people achieve what they set out to achieve. 92% of people do not achieve their goals, the aspirations, you know, Rudy, 20 years from 16 to 36, wanting to achieve, couldn't achieve because Rudy wasn't in control. Your question was incredible because when do I feel insecure?
You know, somebody had mentioned a massive platform potential for me earlier today. And the first thought that went through my mind was, who am I to be on that show? Like, Holy smokes. Like it was so big. We're talking tens of millions of views, right? And I was like, whoa. And the first thought is, oh, I, I'm not big enough to be on that.
I'm not qualified. What am I going to say? What value am I going to add? And that's not me. And that's not my conscious thoughts. That's the unconscious mind. That's the brain tapping into every time I ever failed, every time I wasn't good enough, every time I didn't feel worthy. And it's saying, hey, be careful if you go on to that show, oh, people might not like you.
If you go on that show, you might make a mistake. It hurts your feelings. You should stay in play small. The brain really is trying to prevent you from having any emotion that's going to cause you pain, and it will do anything and everything to prevent you from feeling pain. And we need to realize that the information our brain is divided into.
Will this cause pleasure or will this cause pain? And it's going to pick the pain receptors to avoid, and it'll do everything to avoid pain more than it will to pick the pleasure. And you need to turn around and say, this is my favorite question, is that even true? And I want you to write that down. Is it even true?
If you were to ask those questions every time you feel an emotion, every time something's coming up, and, you know, snapping your brain into being conscious again and you're saying, you know, is it even true that I'm going to mess up on that show? Is it even true that I can't be on that platform? Is it even true that this potential can't happen for me?
And now you're starting to challenge it, and then you no longer have that insecure feeling and you're back in control, and you can take those steps. People think that when they do this work with me, they're never going to be insecure ever again. They think that they're going to be superwoman or superwoman, and they're just going to be invincible and run through walls.
And that's not the truth. The reality is you're going to become Superman, a woman, you're going to run through walls, but you have to gut check every moment. You're going to have to say, you know, like, how long am I going to stay in this feeling of unworthiness or unfruitful mind, or unsure and then still take those corrective steps?
And that's the brilliance. So it's not will we never have them again? We're going to have them. It's how long we stay in them. And that's the work that I do is shortening that time in the pain.
Scott
I love that. I think two different things came to mind. You know, in your answer, I am a firm believer that, you know, a lot of how you are raised or how you, you know, formative years impact how you interact with the world. And, you know, I look at myself and my upbringing and it has shaped a lot of how I interact.
I think the other piece of that, and I think it goes in this line of, you know, some of this stuff never going away is I think at some point there becomes this self-awareness of understood handing yourself and saying, I'm going to leverage this gift of a personality and this gift of the way that I interact with the world for the maximum benefit and so when I'm when a situation arises, I'm going to take my need for approval, and I'm going to channel it in a different way, and I'm going to, you know, take my competitive side and challenge it in a different way, or my love for people or whatever it might be that shapes you. But I think it's that whole self-discovery process, and I love that time in your life when you said from 16 to 26 of self-discovery and understanding, the way you are just randomly impacting the world with no discretion or no understanding and no guiding, it can lead to a lot of negative consequence. And even for people who have the best personality are quotes.
But, no. I just think it's really powerful to be able to control how you present yourself, given all of those things and how that manifests. One thing I was going to ask, you know, it's interesting we talked a little bit about this. The speaker, when you were, you know, younger and now you step out.
You talked about these interactions all throughout the day and said, you have a platform, you have an audience. And I often kind of think about this notion of content creation and coaching and mentoring, you put let's say, 100% out into the world, but you never know the 1% that's going to be deeply rooted in an individual and change their life.
And I guess my takeaway and I am curious, your reflection on this is people not putting out the 100 because they think they need to be perfect with the one, but it's like almost putting out more content. Your odds of hitting someone with the right message, with the right thing when they need it, because all content creators, you know, the distribution of the content and how it's received is, is 90% of the content.
Isn't this runaway viral content? But that one thing and most of them don't know they're creating it when they're creating it. That's the thing that impacts people's lives. So I'm curious, you've had a moment where it's like the 1% where you're just like, I never expected it to happen. And it just really deeply resonated with your audience.
Rudi
You know, most people get stuck in the hesitation of producing something and you just alluded to, you know, we want it to be perfect. We want that end result to be manufactured. But what we can never, ever control is how someone's going to receive information. And I get messages almost daily from somebody that I have never met or I haven't had an interaction with, or my interaction was very brief or limited.
And they say to me, you know, you changed my life or I will never be the same again, or I want to thank you for this, and it's never come to me in the way that I imagined it's going to come. And so I was at an event this past weekend and a young boy, nine years old, came up to me.
And, you know, he shook my hand that he was the only child in the room. There was a lady with a three-month-old infant, but outside of that, he was the only kid in the room. And he came up to me and as I'd finished speaking, he was in the back of the room, and he handed me something that he had drawn, like a picture he had drawn for me, of me being on stage that he drew while I was on stage and, you know, just proceeded to share a little bit about himself and what he enjoyed.
And, and he and I had this moment and, you know, then we took some photos and then he left, and then his mom came to me about 2 or 3 hours later, and I was standing in the back of the room watching another speaker, and she came to me and she said, my son begged me to bring him to see you.
And I'm like your nine-year-old son. Like, how would he even know who I am? Like, like, you know, half my family don't even know who I am. Like, where's this nine-year-old kid? And so she had said that you know, she had been at an event I was at a year before, and she had brought one of her children to this room, and he went home and told, you know, his brother about this.
And he had said, I need to hear that man, because his brother had spoken about this experience so profoundly. And the reason I share this with you is I was speaking to a room of women who want to be influencers, who want to be people who are moving. All my content was supporting women in business who want to achieve something and start a business.
And there was a nine-year-old boy that was profoundly impacted and moved into that room. And so I didn't create my content to serve or support him. Does that make sense? And it's like, we never know where it's going to come from. We never know what it's going to look like. At the very same event, I had been asked to speak on a panel, so they brought us into another room and people got to do Q&A with me, and somebody asked me a question, and I turned around and shared with them that I had been at a particular event, and I named the event, and I said that I failed the audience in this event because I spoke on this topic. But, you know, people's lives didn't change. And I was talking about how I learned from that and that no one's life changed in that event and that I really carried the weight of that. A lady stood up at that event and said, I was in that room, and I would like to tell you how my life has changed.
And she said to me, never forget the impact. And it was in front of this entire audience. And the only reason I share this with you is not to talk about me or how great I am, because that is not the case. I share because those were two examples. One day in one room where I didn't believe that I was serving the person I was speaking to, and they had a profound moment.
And so I want to bring it back to the audience because if it doesn't serve the audience, there's no point in the conversation every single day. When you meet people, you have the power and the potential to create an impact. You don't need to be on a reality TV show. You don't need to have a massive network. You know, I go to a grocery store, I buy my groceries, and then I ask the cashier, and I've said this so many times, and I just hope people start to pick up on this.
I lost the cashier, man. I really feel like a chocolate bar. Like, what's your favorite? I need some inspiration. And then they'll be like, yeah, Kit Kat. And then I'll say, yeah, you know what? That's why I feel like Kit Kat. And then I'll buy the Kit Kat. They'll ring it up, they'll bag it, and then when I grab my groceries, I take the Kit Kat out.
I hand it back and say, I just want to tell you, I appreciate your eye contact. Look at them. And I'm like, thank you for what you do. You make my life better and easier and I just want to acknowledge you, man. Thank you so much. And then I leave. When you do something like that, you're seeing someone.
You're celebrating someone, you're thanking someone. I walked out of the grocery store after doing that a couple of months ago, and then I forgot one of my bags, and I turned around and came back in. When I came back in, that person was screaming and jumping up and down like making a scene. And all the cashiers were like, what's going on?
And the guy was jumping up and down for a Kit Kat. Like, what is it, a dollar, $2? Like jumping up and down. Like they felt so seen and validated in that moment. And we don't have to have a platform to create an impact like that on somebody. And so my advice to everybody is, can we just treat everyone that way?
Can we have more love, more kindness, more compassion? Can we just be of servitude to everyone, not just to ourselves? Because that's how your video goes viral, right? I think that it's a knock-on effect to who you are. If you show up in every other area, then that area is going to expand beautifully as well.
Kwame
Beautifully said. You know, I think there are a couple of things that you said that stuck out to me. One is the message that is synonymous with most people that I think we speak to, who have an audience and create an impact is that when you are creating, sometimes you feel like you are creating for this whole massive audience, but in actuality, sometimes it's not about how large that impact is, but it's how direct that impact is.
Right? It could be a message out to a million people and maybe only 100 people really, you know, resonate with. But with those 100 people, it might resonate as hard as anything else that they've ever heard. I recently went through some medical issues, and, it's not something that I've really been in the familiar territory of, you know, so something very different for me.
But once I was getting towards the latter end of it, I went ahead and I put it out and said, hey, I won't do this thing. It was very different for me. It's something that I'm not used to. You know, I just kind of wanted to let everybody know, you know, for a few reasons. One, I hadn't been online for a long time. I wanted people to know what I had gone through and also to warn people about being more proactive about their health.
And the number of messages that I got that were so specific to someone's experience was like, I was dumbfounded, you know, out of the, you know, I'm very fortunate to have an audience on Instagram, 460,000 followers out of those 460,000 followers, I think you may have gotten maybe about 30 messages, but out of those 30 messages, they were insanely specific.
I had a woman tell me an entire story about her daughter and how she's had, you know, similar issues, and they've been going to the doctor for the last three years. And this like, it was so specific that I was like, wow, we just shared a moment that was so relevant and so deep to your experience in life.
And that's me coming from a place where I'm, you know, standing far, far away.
Rudi
So I know to interrupt you only because I want to share with you that you gave me an incredible lesson in that share. So we had very similar experiences at a very similar time. I was also hospitalized because I was ignoring a fever that was growing in my body. It went on for three weeks. I got medication from one of those cold Intel doctors who didn't know what they were doing and gave me the wrong medication.
It got worse, and then eventually I had sepsis and almost died, and I lost all the muscle mass like so much muscle mass in my body. Something like 10 or 12 pounds of muscle in like 3 or 4 days. I just riddled my body. Anyhow, I did not share any of that on social media. And when I saw your message, I went to my wife and I was like, man, I just got schooled.
And, I showed her the video because, you know, there was a beauty in that because your experience wasn't looking for sympathy, which is why I didn't post anything. But I realized there's a lesson in everything, and I didn't go to my community and say, guys, man, if you have a fever like what you said, you know, don't wait three weeks to go and have like, health is wealth, man.
Go and get yourself checked out. So, you know, you didn't get a message from me on that day. And I want to share this with you because you don't know how many people that that message could have impacted. I want to touch on something for the benefit of your audience, and I hope you don't mind me bulldozing here for a second, but I think what you said is so important.
If you have a majority of your people, content creators, and they want to go viral, if your energy is in wanting to go viral, only creating something because you think it's going to have a hook, then you've got to think about what is the energy that you're creating that with, because people are going to feel that energy.
If you've ever walked into a room and met someone, they look good, sound good, even smell good. But man, you just don't like them. You don't want to be anywhere near them. That is because their energy is incongruent with you. There's a disconnect between what they want and what you deserve or what you want, and so you just don't care for them.
So you want to get away from them. When you create content, your content carries the energy of how you intend that energy to be received, and how you made it. If you're making it with the oh my gosh, this has to go viral, I need this, this has got to be this. And you're looking at likes and clicks. That energy is frenzy, and it's going to repel people away from your content.
If you create content with nothing but love, you create content to create a difference. You create content to make an impact. Like the beautiful message that you had posted sharing your experience. Then your content goes viral because people are being magnetized to you and to what it is that you're sharing.
Scott
I think that's amazing. And it is funny. I've had that exact experience where, you know, it's like, I don't trust this. I don't quite understand this or something. You know, something feels wrong. I think people are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. And, you know, it's interesting, whether it's politicians or business leaders or podcast hosts or influencers, I think people can see when someone's not genuine.
And maybe one piece of content can be faked. But, you know, over time, give it five pieces of content. The true reality of who you are is going to shine through, good or bad or otherwise. And so I think in the same vein of self-awareness, I think you have to assess why am I doing something, what really are my motives?
And there are people who like influencers who are all about themselves, and that's their whole shtick. And they're drawn to them because they're fun and they're exciting and they're chaotic. But, you know, if you're out there preaching inclusivity and you're preaching, you know, self-empowerment, and then you're not walking the walk and you're clearly not in it for, you know, and it is interesting because I think even some of the biggest names there, their clear desire to help people shine through, even though they have a monster platform.
And I think those are really interesting, powerful individuals. I'm curious for you when you think about this kind of thing, you know, the building of an audience and then having, you know, all this notoriety around it. Do you feel like there's this temptation then to have mixed motives or do we talk a lot about brand deals and interactions and like pushing products you believe in or don't believe in and interacting with your audience as you've grown your following, are there these moments where, you know, I have to recenter myself and kind of re-energize myself and what I'm focusing on and why I'm really here and not get caught or swept up in some of the traps that might exist.
Rudi
You use terminology that I want your audience to pay attention to, to recenter yourself. So to me, I believe in integrity, unwavering integrity. I will not do anything if I am not aligned with what it is that I'm doing. And I'll give you an example. There is somebody in my space who is very big, and I have a friend, a very close friend who can, you know, create a connection so that we can have a cross-collaboration.
I can be on his podcast, he can come up to mine and would that bring, you know, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands or potentially millions of views to my platform? The answer is yes, it would. But I also know something that the public doesn't know about this person and how he treats women and what kind of, you know.
And without going into any specifics, I'm just not in alignment with this individual. And for that reason alone, I won't follow them. I won't have them on my platform. I won't be on their platform because we are not of the same integrity. And I think if you do anything for short momentary gain, it's going to cost you in the long run.
You know, this year I think there's going to be a tremendous amount of truth-telling that's going to come out that there's you know, if you just look from a numerological perspective, so many people who are faking it are going to be seen called out people who have lied or cheated to get to where they're going. You know, we're in a world where you can buy followers, you can buy downloads, you can buy likes, you can buy comments, you can, and all of these things.
And it's not going to serve the person that you become. And people are going to start to see through the things that you're doing. And the only thing that you have at the end of the day. And now we're going back 100 years, where we picture our grandparents saying, you know, your word is your bond. It's the only thing you've got.
Well, that's the truth, man. It is the only thing because there is a world of people that have access to you now. Everything you say, everything you do, who you are, is somehow available to the entire world. And you've got to ask yourself, what is the cost of what you're prepared to do to get to where you're going?
I don't necessarily subscribe to the belief that it has to be hard, and it's got to be long, and if you turn down all these great opportunities that will get you there in the short, that it's going to take a little. I just think that you've got to be good with who you are. When you put your head on your pillow at night, you know, I gauge success by how happy you are when you go to sleep at night.
And I don't care about money in somebody's bank account. I don't care about the accolades. I don't care about the followers. I really, genuinely just care that when you go to bed at night, are you proud of who you are and what it is that you've done? Can you handle it? Say you're a good person, and if we measure ourselves at that level of you know what?
Today I did well. I'm proud of what I contributed to the world. Then I think you're the most successful person.
Scott
I love that it's interesting that we talked about this kind of owning who you are and discovering who you are, and maybe shaping and altering that to an extent. And I think, you know, like you said, there's this rooting of a personality and motivation, but there is an ability to impact how you then bring that to the world.
And it's funny, I think it's an interesting process. And I think about my own journey. I was like, I'm just going to put myself out there good, bad, and otherwise, and it's so much easier to just be you than try to be someone else. And then I think the process becomes, how do you shape how you show up?
So it's genuinely you. And so I think if you just start as saying, I'm always going to give myself exactly as I am good and bad to folks, but then I'm going to do the work on me to make sure that, you know, the way that that comes across, the impact I have on others. Like you said, I can go home and sleep at night, but that doesn't mean that you're always coddling people and super friendly.
I talk all the time with our team about, I would be doing you a disservice if I just said, hey, that is the best that you can do. Like don't try any harder or you know you did as well as you could do. Three days I looked at you clearly didn't do as well as you could. You could have tried harder.
We could have done better as a team. And I'm going to give you that raw feedback because you need to hear it so that you can go home and put in the work or decide what you want to do with that. But, you know, for me, if I'm told, hey, you, you crush it and I didn't, that that completely is negative reinforcement.
Not helpful to me. So anyway, I just think it's so important to show up as who you are and then put in that work to make sure that's who you want to be.
Kwame
I just wanted to mention that as someone who in some capacity, you know, reports the Scott that is very true. He will let you know he's not doing a good job. So thanks, Scott.
Scott
But in that vein, I think people appreciate that honesty. Like in the moment, it can be hard to hear. And I think it's like most coaches, they will tell you uncomfortable realities. And it's funny, I had a moment in my life where someone came out to me and was like, hey, I'm going to tell you what everyone at the company thinks about you and me, how exactly they talk about you and you're not around.
And it was one of the hardest conversations I've ever been a part of, and it was just brutal. And I stepped back and I just felt like garbage. But then I took that and I said, it's a gift to now understand what people truly think about you. And they're not just, you know, giving you this lip service and, and kind of putting on a face and then and then behind the scenes, not wanting to hang out with you or spend time with you or not respecting you and enforcing a lot of positive change for myself.
And so I think it doesn't need to be every day, all day. But if someone needs to hear the truth, a harsh reality, a very transparent, unbiased view of how things are to help make them progress. I feel like that's something that more people need to be willing to do.
Rudi
You see, I said to you a little earlier that we need to treat people with kindness, with compassion, and with love. And I'm a high-performance guy. So I go into either an athlete's life, a celebrity or a professional, or a CEO or president of a company, or executive team. And my job is to be the hard-hitting guy.
Like, not always the most liked person in the room, because my job is to get you to be the best that you can be. But I want to preface that by saying we could do that with kindness and compassion. And it sounds like just listening to the two of you talk, that there's a tremendous amount of love and respect between both of you, even if you can be very firm and say, hey, you haven't met the expectations I have, and so I want to just give a tidbit to your audience.
You know, you can go to somebody and say that you absolutely suck and you're not meeting the expectation, but you can do it in a way that's going to make them want to aspire to be more like you, or you're going to say it in a way that makes them want to turn away from you. And being able to say, like, I see profound potential in you.
My experience is you're not hitting that potential, and I wouldn't be serving you if I didn't ask you to step it up, to do more, to put more effort in. And if you were going to be honest with yourself right now if I asked you, are you proud of what you just did, what would you say? And then we're going to turn around, be like, yeah, you know what?
I agree, I'm going through a breakup or I didn't eat my broccoli last night, or whatever excuse they come up with, and then you've got them on a path to where they're going. But I also just want to commend you here for a second, Scott, because you have to live that and play that part first. You see, you hold yourself to a really high standard.
You have a high expectation for yourself, and you cannot hold other people to that standard if you don't first have it for yourself. So you lead by example first, and then you help other people and elevate them to achieve the highest, their greatest potential. So beautifully done and beautifully said, gents.
Scott
I think about that. I know the coaches and the leaders by name and it's this unique skill of telling you simultaneously you're bad at something and having you walk away feeling fired up and motivated. It's such a special person to be able to deliver that message. And it's a type of coaching that needs, you know, work and refinement.
But I am a soccer coach. In high school, Tony could tell me to my face, you didn't put in the effort, you're not doing well enough. And I'd walk away and I'm like, you're right, I'm not. And then there's other coaches who are like, you suck. You're terrible. And I'm like, pound sand. I'm out of here. And I think it is knowing if there's trust, there's a way that you deliver.
And I think it might not feel like kindness, but I do think it's about intent and it's about the trust behind it and knowing that they un they, they're unwavering in their desire for you to be successful. And I think that when people don't have your best interests in mind and they tell you that you're terrible and you're not performing, or they just want to berate you for no reason, I think that's where it's clearly not motivating.
Inspiring. So yeah, I just think it's such an important thing as a leader to understand how things are being picked up and again, rooting yourself in, am I actually showing this person how much I care about them and their success in this moment? Even though I'm giving them this tough message?
Kwame
Yeah. I mean, there's a lot that goes into it, I think, like leadership honestly, you know, it is good. Leadership is one of the hardest things to lock into place in the right place for it to fit. Because leadership looks different to everybody. And the way that people receive leadership is very different all across the board.
Right. And so there's a really, really fine line where defining what respect or fear could be when it comes to, you know, talking to or working with somebody. And I think it is really, really important to stay in that respect, that line that motivates because I feel like people do genuinely sometimes think that fear is what motivates.
Like if I tell you that you did this thing wrong, that's what's going to propel you forward. You're going to go do it right. But, you know, honestly, there's this perfect mix that hits respect to where somebody says to you if your leader says to you, like, I need you to do better, you're not just motivated by the fear of them.
You're also intrinsically motivated by like, the motivation that they've imbued in you because you respect them. So personally, I always like to think that respect is something that gives double motivation. There's external and internal, and I think fear is just purely external. So I do think that there's a really important way to do that.
But getting back to you, Rudy, I think when we think about the impact that you have on people and the fact that we have an audience that's listening right now, one thing that I would love to get your thoughts on is if someone is currently at a low, someone is, you know, felt beaten up, someone feels really down.
And they're kind of like they feel like they're at the absolute bottom, you know, and it could be different for everybody. But if you were to just send out a message that in some way could generalize and maybe appeal to most people out there who want to pick themselves back up from the ground and start fresh, pick it up, and feel energized.
What would you say to somebody in that position?
Rudi
I'm going to go back and touch on the last conversation we had, while I answer the question to the present one, and that is that, you know, leadership starts with the self. We have to lead ourselves as individuals before we have the power or the potential to lead other people. The moment you leave your bedroom or you walk out your front door, you have an obligation, a responsibility to lead as the highest and greatest expression of who you can be.
And people are always following you, whether you have a platform or not. People are going to look at you and they're going to see either an example of what it looks like to be a great leader in self, or what is an example of what not to do or who not to be. And the same applies if you're having a really tough day right now, life feels like you've got a bag of lemons and you have no idea how to turn that into something.
I want to just challenge everybody, you know my work. If you were to ask me what is like the foundation of the work that I do, it would be to remind you that every single experience that you have ever had in your life, every trial, every tribulation, every trauma, every success, every failure, everything has added to the collective of who it is that you are today, what you are going through right now is a pre-qualification for who you get to become.
So if you've had a really tough day, a really tough day, it's preparing you for who you get to be. I was in the gym this morning and I got a call from a client and the client shared it with me. They followed that life today. And, you know, that's a tough call to take for anybody.
Okay? Like, really tough. But in three days time, she's speaking on a stage at a panel. She's not a motivational speaker. She's being invited to the House. Capacity to speak on a stage to an audience where she is going to have an intimate, raw experience of what it looks like to not take care of mental health and well-being?
I want to think about that for a second. She's being pricked, qualified today for the power, the potential to change millions of lives in three days time because she has a vantage point that she didn't have the day before, the day before that. Nobody is asking for the negative to come into their life consciously. Presently, we're not thinking that that's what we want, but because we're experiencing it means there's value and meaning in that experience.
You know, I was sexually assaulted by an older female cousin when I was six years old. And every single day when I work with somebody who has been assaulted, raped, beaten, abused man, I'm going to tell you I can relate to them. I thank God I am always in a state of gratitude for my past experience. Not that I would want it, but I'm in a state where I can say I'm so grateful, full that I am in a position to be able to support this person.
Out of that, we have all had trauma, we've all had trials and tribulations, and every one of those experiences answers has been a pre-qualification. I also want to bring awareness to something that you are a powerful, creative being. My work is to remind people that you were created by the greatest. Created to create. Your sole responsibility is to come here and create, and the life that you were living is a life you created.
It's not a victim situation. You're not in a place where you are being served a life, and you have to deal with it and react to it. Hell no. You put yourself in the place where you're at and that doesn't feel good if your life sucks right now. But what I want you to know is you have the potential to change that.
And it can be very different in a very, very short amount of time. If you understand who you are, the divinity flowing to you and through you, and what it is that you can create, who you can be. Because I've never met anyone who hasn't been able to achieve greatness. And every single person that I've ever met who has achieved greatness is still playing too small.
Because we are limitless. We can have and be and do anything. And so if you are right now feeling like you are not good enough, you're not worthy. You're having a tough day. You're suffering depression or anxiety or stress. What I want you to do is go back to the very beginning of our conversation, when we spoke about having just a semblance of awareness of who you are and what you pay attention to.
What does it feel like to be you right now? Look at the environment of everything that is around you. And if you were to ask yourself, is it even true that I feel this way? Most pain that people are going through is an assumption of a reality that's not even real. This means somebody didn't call you back, you weren't invited to the dinner or the lunch or the weekend away.
And you've internalized that they don't like me. They didn't want me. They don't respect me. None of that is even true. Most times, it has nothing to even do with you. And if you can realize that most of the pain that you're in, the struggle and the suffering that you are in is an internal, internal job, and you are the only thing that is holding you will keeping you in that place and that you can change your emotional state in seconds and your life will be very different.
Now I'm going to go off scripture for a second because you asked the question, and I have to bear the answer. There are three bodies. You have the mental body, which is where you think your thoughts. Your thoughts produce feelings. Thoughts and feelings drive all your human behavior. So I want to explain that I think the thought, oh, I'm not worthy, and my brain puts a chemical into my body that says, oh, I need to process the chemical emotion of I'm not worthy.
So my palms get sweaty, my shoulders pull forward, and my eyes go look down. My physiological state changes. But people don't ever talk about your energetic body. Your energetic body extends out 15 feet past you. That energy of I don't feel worthy is now drawing in more experience to me to remind me that I should stay in the place of I'm not worthy because we live in an environment where, like attracts like.
I've gone into companies where the company says to me, we're at 300 plus million. We want to get to $1 billion, you know, come in and work with us. And then they show product and marketing and I'm like, well, let's just touch the people. And we go in and we start supporting the people to feel better, to change and curate an energy around them of success or fulfillment of joy, of freedom.
And then all of a sudden the business starts to grow. 56% growth in the first year of the second, you have 40% growth. And they just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And this company is going to be five times in the next 3 to 4 years again. And the only reason is that the people now understand they are in control of their emotions.
They're not looking for somebody to validate them, somebody to give them something. And that if your life right now isn't in the direction of where you want it to go, you have the power and the potential to create that shift or to create that change. I haven't necessarily given the tools on how for you to do that, but that's my answer is, if somebody is in a state where they aren't feeling aligned, they don't feel like they're good enough or that they're worthy.
I want to just share with you very, very briefly my advice would be to sit down in a chair without outside distraction. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Calm your mind. Calm your body. Release the emotion of what it is that you've been feeling. I actually have a resource for free on my website. It's called the Candle Meditation and you can download it.
Your entire audience can have it. It's at Rudy Rick stevens.com and under resources, that meditation takes you through a guided process in 15 minutes of how to release all stress, fear, and anxiety from your body. Because that stress, fear and anxiety, depression, and frustration are bringing you more, it's attracting more. And then you curate new emotion, joy, fulfillment, freedom, whatever it is that you want.
And then when you open your eyes, it's actually going to draw more of that experience to you. And then once you start to see the successes of good things coming, stack the evidence of their meaning, be present to them, be aware. Like, man, that meeting went well. You know what? I just picked up 20 bucks on the floor, like, oh, you know what?
I just won that lottery ticket. Whatever, whatever. And you stack the success, and that's, that's the greatest advice that I could give you to create the greatest change.
Scott
There's a lot of that in that last section. I just appreciate you sharing. You know, a lot of, what has impacted you and how you feel like you're able to, to go out and make the change? It's interesting that we often talk about how the most challenging circumstances can really show character and are also the times when you can create the largest amount of impact.
And it was interesting thinking about the recent fires. Our crew was impacted in his community and was with us, and we didn't even realize his family had been evacuated overnight. I flew home and I spoke with him on the phone. And, you know, I don't get super emotional that often, but, you know, he's in a mask, hosing down rooftops, fighting off looters, trying to get animals, you know, corralled that are that have been abandoned and it was in that moment where I felt like I knew most deeply his character and what he stood for.
He could have very easily taken an easier path, at that moment and, you know, putting themselves in harm's way to go out and help the community and, and help his family. It was just really telling. And I think, you know, there are varying degrees of scenarios, and you never asked for the position that you were put in.
And many of us weren't asked for the things that happened to us. But I think our ability to use, you know, those hard times as traumas, as ways to help connect with others and help lift up others who have had similar experiences. And I talk about this to my wife often. There is no greater empathy than someone who's had that shared experience with you.
I mean, I will never know necessarily what it's like to be Bill in that moment or to be Rudy, in the moments that you've had. But we do have our experience, and we're able to help share that. So I think it's really powerful, that common shared experience and how you can show up for people.
Rudi
You know, I was just going to say that there's value and meaning in the experience. And I believe that our lives are not about us. They're about that when we have the experience, we turn around and we teach them. And it doesn't mean that you have to look for people that necessarily have shared experiences so that you can create, you know, communities of people that sit together and talk about what happened to you.
But if you've had an experience and you can turn around and share the same way that people may, that you did what you said, man, you know, I had this experience, I had these fevers. I was hospitalized like, hey, don't wait three weeks if you can have that. What if somebody is listening to that and they go through something and they realize two days in and you prevent them from, you know, going into a hospital, you prevent them from filing bankruptcy because they can't pay for the hospital bills?
You know, you prevent them from dying like there's value in sharing the experience. And I think that in every experience, we only have the experience because it's increasing our awareness of who we are, to what we're doing, and it's also increasing the awareness of what we can now turn around and teach. And that's just the point of life.
It's education in every way.
Kwame
Yeah. No, I love that. I love the thought process. I love the belief behind it is, that at the end of the day, the messages that we share, we have to focus more on the fact that it is making a big impact on people. Like, I feel like a lot of us, you know, people who are who have influence, we'll call it.
Right. You know, hey, welcome to be influenced by people who have influence, people who have platforms. I think we tend to think that the wider our reach goes, the more impact that we've made. But in actuality, the deeper the connections, the more impact that we are driving, the more loyalty we are driving with our community. Yeah, the more rapport we're building.
So no, I think the things that you're saying really do stick, really do resonate. And, you know, we're about to come up on time here. And so I just kind of wanted to end this with, you know, a last bit of thought, you know, before we, you know, dismiss. Thank you so much for the time that you've given us.
It's been an abundance of knowledge and an abundance of encouragement. Hopefully for everyone who's listening. And it is important for us to drive those through and give our audience moments like this where they get, you know, 45 minutes to an hour of listening to things that will build them up and motivate them beyond just listening to things that they might just, you know, entertain them.
I think that is really important. So I'd love to pass it back to you for any last words that you want to share with our audience and with anyone who's listening.
Rudi
We know, I want to just acknowledge time. I started my conversation with the two of you before we hit record. Thank you for your time. It's by far the most invaluable resource to your audience that's listening, they've invested in themselves in a way that's changed their perspective in some capacity. And, I want to acknowledge that because it's the one thing we can never get back in any time somebody spends time listening to me, I want to make sure that that's the greatest expenditure of time possible.
I would challenge your audience if there was something that you heard that you liked. To do a couple of things. The first is I'm going to ask them to rate, review, and smash five stars for your show because it helps get your message out there further. And people don't realize how easy that is. Such a small barrier of entry to just say thank you for the great work that you guys are doing.
So right now, whatever you're doing, hit a five-star smash hit rate and review this podcast. Just incredible work. Then if anybody wants to get in touch with me, I respond to every single message, email, and DM. Personally, I have a team, but everything and all communication comes through me. Because I love what I do and I love to create impact.
I'm doing something I've never, ever done before. That is because mostly I work with high-profile individuals, and I have such a large request for people to work with me individually, and I don't have the capacity to do that. And so in February, we were launching a community which is a very, very, very small nominal $500 a year fee.
My rate is six figures. And so to charge $500, it's literally just to make sure that people pay so that they pay attention and so that they show up. And if anyone's interested, they can go to my website. I'd love to be able to support as many people as possible to create profound shifts and changes in their lives so that they can truly love and achieve their highest and greatest potential.
Scott
Awesome. Well, Rudy, we really appreciate you coming on. So many amazing nuggets of information. Hopefully, people walk away feeling like they learned something. They felt motivated to get out. Maybe they found that spark that leads them to go out and help others. But until the next one, have a great one. Good work on yourself.
Go make someone's life a little bit better. And, Rudy, thanks for everything you did, and thanks for the time today.
Rudi
Appreciate you guys. Thank you.
Scott
Right. Yeah.